I’ll be super disappointed if James Franco turns out to be just a normal dude
And not the thirty-two flavors of crazy he appears to be.
- I hope he reads Byron to his cats.
- I hope he talks about himself (and to himself) in the third person. “James, you did a fantastic job in that movie, buddy!” and “Don’t worry James. They’ll all forget about the Oscars soon enough.”
- I hope he reads Keats to his penis.
- I hope he secretly writes Twilight fanfiction under the username “TWIHARDFRANCO1.”
- I hope if you go on a date with him, he makes you reenact the previously mentioned fanfiction.
- And then films it for his thesis.
- And then records an album about it.
